Thieves

Some fucking asshole keeps stealing my girlfriends artwork off the walls of her bookstore. She's lost two framed paintings now that were for sale in her children's bookstore. Who the fuck does that? They could not pay for the pretty little lamb or the harmless dainty violet? Do they think she is making a bundle off these, that they're just cheap product? She has the lowest asking prices I've ever seen, yet this was someone's good idea. Who the fuck steals framed lambs? Is this thief a child with well honed aesthetic? I need to know this. I'll choke slam them, child or not.

Listen. Go to her website and consider buying something. It's not much. And you can bargain with because she's nice. If you buy something I will write an invention for you that will only be for you and no one else and I won't even half ass it. I'll give you the goods, the full effort. If you won't do it for me, and you won't do it for Emily, just go to her website and take a gander of that cute little lamb, probably now hanging above some crack baby's crib, and do it for that guy.